26th and 27th

Sat 26th
Dear Cousin Edith
How lovely to receive a letter from you this morning. I am so glad that you are beginning to feel stronger but hope that you will not have over done things in your enthusiasm. Having Laura to stay and help you celebrate Christmas must be a great boost. I am so happy for her too - you did not say when the baby is due, do let me know. It was good of Wilfred to let her come still.
I have had rather a lazy day so far. I had a little kedgeree for breakfast but still felt quite full from yesterday. I had planned to wear my pink and green tweed skirt with the pink jacket and the green twin set but the weather seems to have turned colder so I put on my big thick green Aran cardigan instead. I wanted to wear the brooch that I had from Rosamund and Arthur and pinned it to the cardigan but it would have looked nicer on the jacket. It was very quiet this morning until the children went outside to play in the snow. Harriet took her breakfast with them and Jane. Rosamund mentioned to me that Harriet had told her that she felt a bit awkward with the rest of us, isn't that silly. I wish I had made more of an effort to be friendly but I had thought that ....oh well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I will try to talk to her at lunch and see if she would like to come for a walk, just the two of us, this afternoon. At the moment I am sitting in the little room that Rosamund calls the "snug" and enjoying some solitude. Although it has made my Christmas to be surrounded by people, I do find it a bit wearing after a while. I suppose that is what happens when you get used to living alone. I sat staring into the fire as I drank my coffee and started to get a bit melancholy so that is why I began my letter to you now.
This room is furnished with some old leather sofas and a blue rug and patterned curtains. The wall paper is a dark blue and beige stripe. There is a book case and two china cabinets with all sorts of bits and pieces in them. On the shelves I found a photo album and there were a few of mother and me with Rosamund and Alfred, and Geraldine when she was little and Paul as a rather gangly youth. There's the gong for lunch.
Now it is night time again. We had my favourite meal of Christmas at lunch time, cold meat and bubble and squeak and pickles. The men had all gone off to a shoot on a nearby farm so there was just Rosamund, Harriet, Lavinia and myself. Elizabeth and Elouise were out with Geraldine somewhere to help with the decorations and food for the party on Tuesday. She had insisted that Rosamund have nothing to do with it as she has been working so hard. Rosamund told us a few things about John which she could not have spoken of in front of Elouise but she was concerned about Harriet and the way that she seemed to be taking a bit of a shine to him. She said that she wanted to speak of it in front of me and Lavinia so that Harriet would know that it was only out of concern for her welfare. I can't really say more than that in this letter. However, it puts a different light on things, particularly the way Paul spoke to him after he had tried to strike up a conversation with me in the library. I also think I may have been wrong about R trying to get Paul and Harriet together and that it had more to do with keeping John at a distance from her. I'll explain more when I see you. In the end all four of us went for a walk and I think that it did make Harriet realise that she really is cared for, not just invited out of a sense of duty. It was interesting to hear her and R talking about their mutual family.
We were out for a long time and when we got back the men were all having tea and full of their morning's sport. I have been shooting myself and would rather have liked to have gone too but it was an all male gathering. Well, we have to let them off the leash occasionally, don't we!
We had lobster this evening and then a chocolate tarte. I am glad I had that long walk. I shall have to go the long way round to church tomorrow as well. I was pleased to see Harriet more relaxed. John seemed to be in a bit of a sulk. Rosamund was determined that we should play some parlour games this evening but he would not join in and went off to the snug to read. Paul took him a drink a little later and stayed talking to him and then when he returned Henry went to keep him company but came back to say he had gone off to bed.
We played charades, which I always enjoy, and some paper and pencil games like Consequences.
27th December
It was only when we got back from church this morning that I realised I had forgotten to post this letter to you, so I may as well continue with it and pop it in the box later. I was quite ravenous at breakfast. It may be that we were a little later than usual, or all that walking, but I had porridge, egg, bacon, fried bread, tomatoes, mushrooms and a sausage, and orange juice, and then some toast and marmalade and coffee. I wore my new green dress and the beads that I had from Paul. My grey coat is really warm and I was glad of it on the walk to church, and sitting there. They have quite a large congregation so singing the hymns helped me warm up as I could be as loud as I liked and not be heard! The sermon was very good again. Paul introduced Lavinia and me to the vicar's wife and she gave him a very odd look. I know I am probably imagining things but it was almost conspiratorial. He had mentioned a book to me yesterday that he thought I might like to borrow and after lunch he suggested that we walk back to his cottage to pick it up .
I don't know why I should have felt uncomfortable about it. As it was, we had such a good conversation, mostly about Frederick. He asked me some quite pointed questions and I ended up telling him things I don't think I had ever told anyone else, about what happened in those last few weeks particularly. Things I haven't really been able to put into words before. Strange that it should be Paul that drew that out, rather than Rosamund or one of the other women.
The cottage is very well furnished and decorated, not at all how I imagined. I suppose one always expects a single man to live in a mess. The kitchen is all pale green and cream and he has some very up to date equipment and obviously enjoys cooking. The sitting room has a big open fireplace and old furniture brightened up with tapestry cushions and a big old shawl across the settee. There is a little study too although I didn't see in there. By the time we set off back to the house the light had almost faded. I do hope it was not a cause for comment.
Paul did not stay for dinner and Henry, Elouise and John had gone to visit some friends who live nearby so we had a quiet evening by comparison to how it has been. Simple roast beef, although with all the trimmings, and apple pie. It is only 10 o'clock but I am feeling very tired so am going to bed early.
Hope this finds you well
My very best wishes
Freda